Working Through Change is Difficult

Have you had some big changes lately? If so, you can attest to the fact that IT’S DIFFICULT! Part of life for both adults and children is learning to deal with change and move on and be happy again. Because working through change is difficult.

If the change involves a loss of some sort, this makes it even more difficult to deal with and move forward.

Dealing With Change

One certain thing is life is that there will be changes. Change can be something relatively small like when a store moves items around to different aisles. Or when the office decides to re-do the recess duty schedule.

But other changes can be HUGE like moving to a new location; city to rural, different states, different countries. Or when a loved one passes away…so sad! And when someone you love is going through a divorce or a job loss.

Many times we can lean on friends to help us get through change, and other times we need to take time, let it sink in and figure out a way to move on and continue to be happy.

Student Changes

When students enter or leave a class it completely changes the dynamics of the entire group. Some students have lost a friend, others have to get used to a new person at their table group. These changes can be constructive learning for your students as they navigate the changes of either adding to the class or of someone moving away.

Some student changes can be something at home that changed and is now affecting how that child is doing in school. If you can find out what has happened, often you can connect the student with a counselor or therapist to talk through the changed situation.

Changes at Your School

A very big change at a school is when the school gets a new principal. Parents and teachers often worry about what the new principal will be like and if he/she will be kind and supportive.

Another big change is when teachers are moved around to different grade levels without asking to be moved. Often school have no choice when the enrollment numbers indicate one fewer teacher in a grade-level and one more in another. But this CHANGE is very stressful for the teacher who doesn’t want the change.

Tips for Working Through Changes

There are some helpful strategies to try to deal with change. You can try them all or just a few. They are in no particular order; one is not more effective than the other – just different.

PLAN AHEAD

If any of the changes allow you to plan ahead, do so…it will make things so much easier. For example, if you know they will be working on a road you drive regularly, map out an alternate route ahead of time. Another example, if you find out in the afternoon that you will be getting a new student the next morning, take a moment to set up a desk for him/her and find the books and other supplies. Then when the student arrives the next morning they will feel welcomed and you will feel prepared.

REFRAME YOUR THINKING

If there is any way for you to try to reframe your thinking from the change being a problem to it being an opportunity then you can enjoy the change. So with the new student scenario above, if the new student makes your enrollment go from 25 to 26 you can reframe the situation to be pleased that you now have a partner for each student during pair/share.

TAKE TIME TO REFLECT

Perhaps if you are being assigned to another grade-level, you can remember when you student taught in that grade, or perhaps what thing about that age group interests you? Or if you have just moved you can list out a few places you want to explore in your new location once you have settled in.

STRIVE TO MAINTAIN SOME NORMALCY

If possible, keep your normal schedule. Sometimes you might need to take time off of work, and that’s ok too; but try to get back to a normal schedule soon. I remember when my mother passed away I had this “A-HA” moment when I was shopping for a dress for her funeral. I realized that no one in the store even knew that I had just lost one of the most important persons in my life. It made me cry; and that’s ok too.

CREATE SOME COMFORT

When you are going through a difficult change (or when a loved one is) try to create some comfort. Make your favorite dinner, watch an old movie that you love, pet your doggie some more. Or just hug someone. We all need comfort in life, especially during a difficult change.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Although this might seem difficult to do when you are in the middle of the CHANGE, but sometimes when something bad is happening, it comforts us to count our blessings. Be thankful that your car is working, that you have a home with a heater during a cold night. Little thoughts of thankfulness can bring us comfort.

TAKE ACTION – BE PROACTIVE

Using the example of the grade change, begin preparing for the new grade-level. Do you need different supplies? Different text books? Go visit the other teachers in that grade-level, or perhaps ask to observe one of the teachers for an hour. I have an article I wrote about changing grade-levels, you can read it here:

How to ROCK Your Grade Level Change like a PRO!

SEEK SUPPORT

If you are going through a divorce, talk to your friends, or seek out a support group; perhaps schedule with a therapist that helps with big changes. As mentioned above, if you are changing grade-levels, meet with the new grade-level team to get to know them and ask how you can prepare ahead of time for this big change.

BACK AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA

You might want to consider taking a break from social media. However, some people find comfort in letting their friends know of the change especially if it’s a death of a loved one. Others may want to ask for advice. But if the Social media accounts are causing you extra stress or grief, then back away from them for a while. Give yourself some grace to get used to the change.

ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL

If the change is out of our control, just accept it and move on. Examples of this are the moved items in the store and the road work being done. There is no benefit to getting upset or worked up about it. If you find yourself grumbling, STOP (especially if you have children watching and listening) and take a deep breath and just “deal with it/ accept it.”

I hope that you have found these tips and this discussion helpful. Just remember that you are not alone. There is always someone you can talk to about the change that is happening. While you can seek comfort in some solitude, don’t push people away who are trying to help you with the change.

Until Next Time,